Sunday, April 7, 2013

Apart from the T-rex, because his arms are too short to hold the club...

History has seen the invention of some great combinations: Fred and Ginger, gin and tonic, eggs and benedict. Well, now the folk of New Malden bring you something that is so brilliant and yet so simple that you think "Of course! Why didn't I come up with that?":

Dinosaurs and mini-golf!

Nestled away in the maze of industrial estates by Shannon Corner is a pocket of the Jurassic (or possibly the Triassic). Like Bradbury's hunters in A Sound of Thunder, we wended our way on the narrow ribbon of pre-cast concrete (thoughtfully inset with dinosaur footprints), wielding our twenty-first century golf-club technology. Above the roar of the A3 and the cover versions of Saturday Night and The Ladies of the Harem of the Court of King Caractacus blaring out of the speakers, the pre-recorded roar of dinosaurs could be heard. Vivid blue streams of water concealed plastic crocodiles which were being used as a perch by a pair of remarkably non-blue ducks (both drakes, but I'm not judging them on their lifestyle choices) and a telephone.

The ball in the stream is not a mistake...'s actually the best way on to the green!

Make sure it's not one of the animatronic dinosaurs before doing this!

1 comment:

  1. When I plumbed my brain for combinations, the first one that came up was not Bogart and Bacall, not tea and scones, but… The Captain and Tennille. Muskrat love will keep us together, they sang, confident that the public would not judge them too harshly. After life in the pop charts they retired to Arizona, where they now play golf and break off pieces of their gold albums to pay the rent.

    More dinos up in Crystal Palace Park, but you probably already knew that and there aren't exciting sound effects.

    Speaking of A Sound of Thunder, too bad the movie (according to wikipedia partly set in the Cretaceous, since we're keeping track) wasn't up to much.